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"It?s all occurred to me, Nan. Every single possible reasonthat I?m suddenly happier than I?ve ever been when I should be a nervouswreck. I just... never considered any of it before this past week. It?sa lot to think about."Just then, I got a text. "What are you doing at two forty five?" I askedher."Nothing, I guess. Why?" We?re getting our hair done for tonight. Mitch?s treat."Nancy shook her head. "Why would Mitch pay for me to go to a salon?" Because I asked him to," I said, hoping to end the conversation.She waited for me to go on, but I didn?t, so she said the obvious, "Youasked and he said yes because he loves you, Donnie, and I don?t mean ina ?I love you, bro? kind of way. I mean, in a ?I want to spend the restof my life with you? kind of way. You need to work this all out, one wayor the other, Donnie ? for both your sakes."I shook off that thought by joining Nancy and several other wives insome shopping therapy. The resort had several lovely boutiques and giftshops and we. "I've secluded myself from people for far too long. At first I did it because it was convenient. I had my work, it's much easier to work at night, sleep during the day ... but all of that was an excuse in a way ... like you I was lonely and I didn't like my life. So I hid from it, hid to keep from being hurt ... and when I had the money, I started attractin' 'companions' like Peter. Useless, vain, vapid ... but the chatterin' noise they made allowed me to believe I wasn't alone. The friction of our sex lives allowed me to believe I was loved."And then Carol popped back into my life, draggin' along these people and I felt comfortable with them ... accepted by them ... I allowed myself to bask in the reflection of their love and pretend it was directed towards me ... and I realized that some of it, oddly enough, was. When they say that 'any friend of Carol's' thing, they really mean it. That, like Carol, they could love me just for existin', and for bein' a part of their lives. They.
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